Black-White, Happy-Sad, Yin-Yang: Living With Bipolar

Introduction

Black-white, happy-sad, yin-yang, love-hate, up-down, right-wrong, rapid cycling. These are the daily struggles of living with severe bipolar disorder.  I should know. I have lived with bipolar my entire life. Following a devastating divorce and the destruction of my family at age 40, I attempted near-fatal suicide by overdose. I was in the ICU for 4 days and then transferred to an inpatient psychiatric hospital. I was in total denial refusing to accept that I had this dreaded illness. That was the beginning of a string of suicide attempts. This was my first attempt followed by ten hospitalizations in the next few years. I was never stabilized on the right medications, nor did I receive therapy. I had given up hope accepting that this was my fate and I had no control over it. At this stage, I was in a bipolar-depressed phase. I slept all day to escape the darkness surrounding me, and during the night, I would watch television and crochet blankets. Either way, it was an attempt to escape my world. The purpose of this book is to educate and support the many thousands who suffer inexorably from this disorder. I send out my prayers to you all that you will find comfort and peace along your journey of recovery as I now have.